Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I need to calm my uterus...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
