Four minutes until I can fart!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
