Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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