Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
