There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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