Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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