You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
