I puked a lego.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
