we're chasing vodka with high fives
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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