I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize