i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
