My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize