do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
