I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
