Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
