...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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