fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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