covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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