Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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