Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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