I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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