Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
