hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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