This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
