I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
