Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Randomize
