I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
