I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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