I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
