halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
