Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
