I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
