I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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