you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
there is glitter all over my balls
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
