Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
