I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
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