I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
This toilet bowl is my home.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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