Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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