I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
