Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
