So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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