i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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