guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The feeling are messing with the penis
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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