Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
