k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
