Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Holy sore nipples Batman
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
