Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
