My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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