yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
PANTIES FOUND
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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