making cat noises will not fix the situation.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize