I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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