Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
