The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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