So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
