btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
