So drunk its hurt
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
