people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
one might say we're banned from that church
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
birth control should be required to get into college
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
