with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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